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Ethrin Marriage Traditions

Feb 19, 2016
Ethrin Marriage Traditions
  • Ethrin marriage traditions have changed somewhat since the Days of Fire, with certain aspects receding and others coming to the fore. It has always been a time for celebration of all those involved. Small/private weddings are exceptionally rare and considered very bad form. There are few elves left now, and continuing the race and strengthening the bonds between elves is something that all want to celebrate and rejoice in.

    One thing that is considered very important to all elves in good standing is that their reputation grow strong through the generations. All elves are keenly aware of how they are viewed by most of human society and so it seen as extraordinarily important to maintain trust and respect from the humans they serve.


    Arranged Marriages(top)


    To this end, arranged marriages are very common as they allow good families who have served their masters for a long time to come together and strengthen each other's standing. They have grown in popularity since the Days of Fire and the night of blood.

    A match is usually picked based on a number of criteria; how long a family has served the same masters, the rank of those masters (obviously with nobles being at the top of this social ladder) as it shows an increased level of trust given to the elves. It goes without saying of course, that anyone whose family was involved with the night of blood would have to work exceptionally hard to gain any amount of trust and respect, family and lineage being extremely important to all elves.

    Arranged marriages are far less common amongst elves lower on this social chain, as they have less to lose and are more often free to choose their own partner. Though it would be looked down on for even them to contemplate marrying one who had a family connection to those involved with the night of blood, or *shudder* a Feralian.

    It may seem like there are a lot of rules and strict guidelines for choosing one's partner (there are indeed more, for each elven family will have its own goals and ideals) but in truth the idea that 'The Kingdom does not have slaves' is something held close to the heart of the Ethrin and none would dream of forcing their younger generation into anything.

    The Question(top)


    Relationships are as varied as there are people to engage in them, but there are still certain traditions involved in how these are arranged.

    Public proposals are generally discouraged, as even in arranged marriages it is considered an intimate thing, and an honest answer uninfluenced by social pressures is seen as important. When the proposal has been accepted, the couple give each other a small piece of jewellery, usually something which has a sentimental value rather than something expensive. Sometimes in elven fairy tales, if those pledging themselves to each other were very poor they would trade handmade jewellery of inter-woven flowers, as this showed more love than any amount of money could (though, in reality, a more permanent option is usually taken despite the romance of this gesture).

    The Ceremony(top)


    An elven marriage ceremony is often judged by how many of the friends and family of each party gathers there for it. With the issues surrounding gatherings of elves it is a point of pride amongst families as to how large a wedding party the relevant nobles will sanction.

    Another common element is that it take place where the couple either first met or somewhere else that is important to the couple as a whole, often a place where they spent a lot of time together.

    When all are gathered together, the family and loved ones of the couple exchange gifts with the members of the opposite group (for instance, the parents of one party would exchange gifts with the parents of the other), this tradition cements the union as a joyous time for both families and has grown in popularity a lot since the Days of Fire, now that unity is a very highly valued trait. Note that the couple getting married do not exchange gifts with anyone, they are seen as giving themselves to the other, and that is the greatest gift one can give.

    The actual service varies widely, however a service conducted by a priest of the Three is gaining more and more popularity and is becoming the 'proper' thing to do, though it is said some Ethrin groups have their own ceremonies, and are wary of what the faith will say about such gatherings.

    Elven Weddings and the Nobility(top)


    In the majority of cases within the Kingdom the Ethrin involved belong to a family that serves a specific noble house. Obviously as simply leaving unannounced or abruptly would be a black mark against potentially both the family and the elf as would turning up and simply expecting a position within a household, some measure of negotiation with the nobility involved is required.

    It is not uncommon for nobles to have negotiations of their own as to which house is taking the newlywed couple, and in the case of arranged marriages whether someone is a suitable match prospect (it simply wouldn’t do to have one of your elves go to a potential rival household). These arranged marriages are occasionally thrown in to other dealings between the nobility, sometimes as part of a trade agreement, act of trust or wedding tithe.